Sailor Moon: fighting through fears and tears

I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately.  Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Hulu has helped me indulge in this nostalgia by having nearly every television show I loved as a child available for streaming.  I mean they have all of the TGIF shows!!!!

A week or two ago, my sister Ashley texted my cousins, Mercy and Merlin, and myself to let us know that Sailor Moon was on Hulu.  All of us were very excited because Sailor Moon was THE thing for the four of us as kids.  We spent hours pretending to be the Sailor Scouts as kids.

Mercy, as a kid wanted to be a doctor and had somewhat of a bob so she was Sailor Mercury.  Ashley, was the most athletic of us and could do a kickass high ponytail so she was Sailor Jupiter. Merlin was Sailor Mars, for really no other reason than she had really beautiful long black hair and looked particularly good in red.  I, of course, was Sailor Moon, because I was the oldest and could make myself the title character. Also, I had such a crush on Tuxedo Moon!  We had no Sailor Venus.

(Please note that the pictures are just to show off my beautiful family, and highlight why we chose each person for their role, obviously we were not playing Sailor Moon well into our teens and early 20s!) 

As a kid, I had this image of Sailor Moon as this brave epitome of girl power who "fought evil by moonlight, won love by daylight, and never ran from a real fight!" However, as I've been re-watching the show, I've realized how off my perception of her was.  She was constantly afraid and crying about how dangerous the enemy was.  She usually had to be dragged/shamed into battle by her talking cat, Luna, and the other Sailor Scouts, particularly Sailor Mars -- who always ran head first into battle.  And yet, somehow, she's the hero of the show!!! (Side note, Merlin is Sailor Mars- today she lives in Medellin, Columbia, which Time Magazine once named the most dangerous city in the world, as a full time missionary.  She is running head first into battle!)

The more episodes I've re-watched, the more I've realized how similar I am to Sailor Moon.  I say that I want to do God's will- whatever that may be.  I want to face the enemy, win the battle, be the hero, live an extraordinary life! -- but I am scared.  And fulfilling God's calling comes with a cost. There will be battle wounds. 

Over the years, I have faced many storms - my illness, my parents' illnesses, ministry hurts and obstacles, employment woes, and a failed marriage.  Each situation, which I know God allowed into my life, has caused me to think, if I continue to walk in God's will, what painful situation will I have to face next?  Life is so much easier if I just stay in the safe places, and never fight. I could have a comfortable life, free of most of that pain. Or at least with less pain, and less pain is good, right? Many times I've just wanted to sit down and cry -- right in the middle of the battlefield.

And to be honest, sometimes I have.  But like Sailor Moon, I didn't stay down.  Why? Because of my Sailor Scouts and Luna!  God has graciously surrounded me with amazing parents, wonderful sisters and brothers-in-law, cousins, friends, and pastors who -- sometimes with words of encouragement, and other times with a swift kick in the pants -- call me to get up and fight!  Moreover, the Holy Spirit is always counseling, advising, and directing -- "Asha get up, keep moving, press on, this battle belongs to the Lord."  And suddenly a faith swells up.  A confidence that my God is with me.  A resoluteness that the victory is mine. 

Life can be overwhelming.  As my pastor reminded me this week, we have a real enemy who will use the situations of our life to try and take us out.  At the same time, we have a real mission -- to win souls for Christ.  The enemy will throw anything he can in our way to keep us from that goal, but like David in 1 Samuel 30, we need to encourage ourselves in the Lord.  We must remember that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind!"  Fulfilling God's will for our lives means that we can't just cower in fear, or hide in comfort.  We must get up, dust ourselves off, and press on.  Even when life's storms hit us like a hurricane, or like a cascading barrage of waves in the middle of the ocean, we still have to move forward.  We need to fight through the fears and tears.  Doing anything less, means living a second best life that never really accomplishes anything.  We are called to more.

If you are having trouble coming back from the hardships of life, I would encourage you to get yourself some Sailor Scouts.  We are not called to walk this world alone.  The Bible repeatedly tells believers to encourage each other -- 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24-25, Hebrews 3:13.  So find people who will encourage you to get back up!

Finally, I leave you with an oldie but a goodie, Twila Paris's The Warrior Is A Child.  It has brought me years of encouragement and boldness.  I pray it does the same for you.

           

Intentional Love, Intrinsic Value

I love to sing! And outside of early 2000s pop, my favorite type of music to belt out is worship music.  No one knows this better than the poor guy who shares a wall with me at work, (sorry Mitch!), because apparently I randomly, and somewhat unconsciously break into song.  One of the songs currently in the "Asha do you realize you're singing out loud?" playlist is "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury.  

It is a really great song based on the parable of the lost sheep. It's about how God's love for us is so deep that He never gives up on us. In stating his motivation for the song, Mr. Asbury has said: 

When I used the phrase, 'the reckless love of God,' when we say it, we're not saying that God Himself is reckless, He's not crazy. We are, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. But what I mean is this: He's utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His own actions with regard to His own safety, comfort and well-being. ... In fact, all things considered, it’s quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn’t consider Himself first... He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself on the line, He simply puts Himself out there on the off-chance that you and I might look back at Him and give Him that love in return. His love leaves the ninety nine to find the one every time and to many practical adults that's a foolish concept. Well, what if He loses the ninety nine in finding the one, right? What if, finding that one lost sheep is and always will be supremely important?

From a human perspective Mr. Asbury is absolutely right.  The math does not add up, not just with the 99 sheep compared to the one, but even more so for Jesus, the sinless Son of God who steps down from Heaven, to go chasing after a sinful and wretched man.  It does indeed seem reckless, and embody a complete lack of self concern or preservation.  And yet when we consider this description we are making a value judgment.  We have a assigned a value to that sheep, and determined it cannot possibly be "worth" leaving 99 or risking the shepherd's safety.

In finance there is a term known as market value.  It is defined as " the price an asset would fetch in the marketplace."  Essentially this means that something's worth is determined by what the general public is willing to pay for it.  Now, of course we understand that sometimes an individual person  might be willing to pay more for an item than the market value.  For example, if it has some sort of sentimental value.  And I think this is how we sometimes view God's love.  God was so overcome with his emotional attachment to us, that because of his reckless love, He was willing to pay a price vastly higher than we were worth.  And so, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so that we would not be lost to Him.  

But what if God's decision to send Jesus to die on Calvary for us wasn't an act of reckless love but rather deeply intentional love.  In Hebrews 12:2 it says that Jesus "for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." To me, this sounds like Jesus did the math.  It was not that he did not consider the consequences of His actions, but rather made a calculated decision that enduring the cross, the pain and the shame that accompanied it, was worth it to redeem His people.  

Why? Because God, as our creator, knows our intrinsic value.  This is our actual value and true worth.  It does not change because of what has happened to us, or what we have done.  It does not shift with the marketplace's valuation of us.  Asha just graduated top of her class, her stock just went up.  Oh, her marriage just fell apart, 100 points down.  She just won a case, 30 points up.  She just gained 10 lbs, 20 points down.  This valuation is set by the omnipotent God who knows the true value of everything.  Jesus determined that every living soul of his creation, humanity, no matter how fallen was worth enduring the pain and the shame of the cross so that they might be redeemed. 

So, here’s what I know: our perception of our value often affects our behavior.  If we feel we are worth less (less than the price that was paid for us) then we act less. We believe our purpose is less. And we work to achieve less.  If on the other hand, we believe that God sees our value as worth the death of His son just to save us, then how great is the purpose for which he created us?! And how hard should we strive to achieve and live up to that purpose!?!

Hebrews 12:1 says that there is a race that is "marked out for us."  He created us having set out a particular course, a specific purpose, and a definitive calling.  He left the 99 and came after us, not seeking a quid pro quo of what He could gain from His sacrifice, but rather with a knowledge of what we are capable of achieving for His kingdom if we were no longer lost, but found.  So let's live like it! Let's"throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."